Olympics, Maze and seagulls

I had occasion to visit the Olympic village at Stratford last week. It's really quite impressive, not least because it looks like it may actually be finished on time.

But the overwhelming impression I was left with was that the whole thing is going to look like an enormous buffet lunch. This is not necessarily a bad thing, you understand, simply an observation.

The stadium itself looks like a salad bowl. Next to it is the velodrome (I think), which has already been locally nicknamed the 'Pringle' due to it's distinctive roof.

On the other side is the fish factory. The one that had to be moved to make way for the stadium. They completely lucked out with their new location and I'm sure they are looking forward to a roaring trade next summer.

And then the centre-piece is the table ornament which at the moment looks like a helter-skelter. I even think the Dome may be close enough to qualify as a dessert.

When not on construction sites, I occasionally get to go to posh restaurants, and again last week, I went to Gordon Ramsey's Maze restaurant in Grosvenor Square. I had high hopes as I'd seen good things on the telly. Now I should point out that it was a corporate affair and therefore perhaps not comparable to fare offered to the individual customer.

The food was divine. Combinations of flavours and textures I'd never even imagined were presented, and while sometimes surprising (salmon on the same plate as watermelon?), it was all, without exception, utterly gorgeous. It was all beautifully presented, the waiter service attentive yet not intrusive, and the surroundings lovely and smart without being too ostentatious.

There was only one downside - there wasn't much of it. For anyone reading who doesn't know me (and there are a few of you now!), I have a BMI of 21.6, so not skinny, but hardly what you'd call a piggy either. I left right after dessert to catch a train, and was hungry enough to inhale a large baguette from Pret A Manger on the way to the station. 

For the last 11 years, my car has been constantly covered in seagull poo. I know that periodically a couple nest on my chimney, and one or two can be seen having a screaming match on my roof.

Brands Hatch looking pretty.

But mostly I have pigeons and sparrows, yet the poo is rather too large even for pigeons.

A few days ago, I discovered that my car is in fact, the local public toilet with gulls specifically paying visits. I think I should start charging them - the going rate is 30p a visit, according to London Victoria railway station, which means I would be a millionaire this time next week.