Ho hum!

Not really much to report here this week, work has been kinda depressing; the heat being a big part of that, and one has to wonder when air conditioning will become mandatory in this country. And the sagas of death, divorce and house moving are still ongoing. However, the clients make us laugh.

Especially when they’ve reached agreements for all s financial, all things property related and all things child related, yet cannot reach an agreement (as both parties want full custody) of two pedigree red setters. The mediator has found herself helping them arrange a child contact schedule for the dogs, and tentatively agreeing shared residency. So far. Yet today, one party saw fit to inform us that the other party turned up late to walk the animals and therefore the dogs had a half hour less walk, and therefore the other party wasn’t fit to care for the dogs. However, both parties are quite confident that the other party is perfectly capable of caring for the two children… *scratches head*.
Thursday we investigated the possibility of a dive on Sunday. 12.45 meet at Dover marina. Marvellous.

In the evening, went to Shakespeare Beach for a dive. Chris didn’t make it, in fact was last rumoured to have been spotted somewhere near Orpington. I buddied Laura again, and we were last in. As we were doing that elegant entry known as the ‘bum-shuffle’ into the surf (men stand up, walk in a manly way into the surf and get bowled over, looking rather like otters having seizures), the first pair came out, binning the dive due to zero visibility. Therefore, we binned. *pout*
By the time I got home, Chris had found his way home.
I also discovered large vehicles with yellow flashy lights occupying road behind house. Tarmacking road started at 8pm and finished at 11pm.
Friday, they were there again, so on top of residual heat, we had boiling tar heat and smells. Joy. Not actually certain why they needed to tarmac that piece of road, and have working theory that they meant to have done the bit under the very low bridge that has a crater the size of the Marianna Trench in the middle of it.
On Saturday we had Jude over to discuss dive club marketing. Fed her sausage sandwiches and chortled over club photos instead. Mostly consisting of rotund gentlemen of varying ages in snug neoprene. Not a pretty sight in most cases.

Checked dive was still on. It was, but moved to 7am *shudder*. Declined to participate. *big pout*

Saturday evening, we went to Rochester Castle for the Classical Spectacular evening. With a handful of friends and a lot of wine it was very enjoyable. As we managed to raid a different supermarket each, we compared scotch eggs and sausage rolls and stuff. Sainsbury’s won. Probably.
The concert itself was extremely good, although not as enjoyable as last year. The Royal Philharmonic was superb as always. There was a distinct lack of acts for the ladies (last year we had Duel – two fit lads in tight trousers playing violins), but a couple of very good acts for the boys; The Opera Babes who had very nice dresses. But the big surprise, for me at least (cuz as we all know I don’t *do* classical), was Myleen Klasse (sp?).
As far as I was concerned, Myleen was that chick from artificial pop group Hear Say who does the red carpet thing a lot and does the odd spot of DJ-ing somewhere. Actually, she DJ’s on Classic FM and is an accomplished pianist in her own right. And I guess her pop/stage experience has given her a good grounding in showmanship. I can’t say she was a brilliant pianist, but she was extremely good and completely sucked the audience in. Oh, and I want her dress.
An odd point, but with my new eyes, watching the fireworks at the end of the show was fantastic. No smearinesss with glasses, no distortion or drying out or whatever with contacts, just… incredible clarity.
Found out that on Sunday the 7am divers binned it because there was too much swell and poor visibility. According to other divers, the afternoon was beautiful. *very big pout*.
Monday evening the tarmackers were out to play again, but they finished at midnight and are not expected to return.
Tuesday went for physio for my knee, and subject to no problems over the next three weeks, am discharged. Yay.
The heat-wave is horrid. If there was a big pool or I could spend all day every day diving, I would be very happy. The cats are very unhappy, demanding I switch the weather off, the fish are demanding ice cubes and the plants are demanding water. However, the carnivorous plants are big and fat due to the quantity of flies and bugs coming indoors.

Wine and wibbles

Came to the conclusion last Saturday that it’s far better to get air cylinders refilled mid-week. Mid week, you can count your waiting time in minutes. On a Saturday, you have to count them in hours. Except that no one tells you that, and you’re kind of expected to stand guard over them until they get taken into the compressor room. So that was basically our Saturday.

Watched Dr Who in the evening, last in the series and supposed to be very tearful. I think Chris might have wibbled a bit.
Sunday, St Margaret’s Bay Dive and BBQ got cancelled. Cleaned house instead.

On Tuesday, one of my ladies went for a mammogram in the morning and got in a tizz because they called her back for another and a scan in the afternoon. At 2pm she was, understandably, panicking. At 5pm she was all good because all was in fact good, just a fatty lump, but they’d cocked up the first mammogram.

Boss man was sent to doghouse in disgrace by me, because he left Broadstairs office door wide open and with the keys in the lock overnight. These are premises belonging to a different organisation where we rent rooms. Hence I had to go to meet with boss lady in Broadstairs to collect keys and make peace. Spent a lovely hour sitting in the sun with said boss lady and her colleague drinking lemon tea and bitching about how useless men are when it comes to multi-tasking.

Discovered that Broadstairs is the ultimate stereotype of 4x4 school run comedy and danger. The Highway Code is clearly suspended for the location and duration. Marked rights of way are irrelevant; the bigger the vehicle, the righter it is to be in the way. Indicators are not required.

The four (or six) orange flashy lights on the vehicle corners is strictly for use when the vehicle is stopped in order to make it clear to other road users that the vehicle with all its orange lights flashing is not intending to move from whatever random spot it may be in (in the middle of the road, on the zebra crossing, on pavement or even all of the above in one case) until it switches flashy lights off. At which point, it will move in a random direction at a random speed. Reverse is the thing that makes the car behind move backwards; this is just for fun cuz it’s a power trip you know.

Boss man remained in doghouse.
Went to the flix with Mel to see Pirates of the Caribbean 2. It was good. Not quite as good as the first, but Jack (Johnny Depp) was slurpily terrific and Keira Knightly was very very good, especially when throwing strop on the beach. Orlando was okay, and it was a nice surprise to see some old favourites from the first film. Then last scene Jack is in could have been very wibbly, but the CGI was too much and it was just very silly. Maybe it was meant to be, but I just thought the pit of Sarlaac in Return of the Jedi was twenty-five years ago and much better done. I’m pretty sure Boba Fett would agree with that too.

Wednesday went to see the mad professor for eye check. Departed Ashford 0630 for 0830 appointment in Croydon. At 0815 in Purley, having made 50 yards progress in half an hour, discovered appointment was actually 0900. Arrived 0905. Left eye may need tweaking a little, but will have to wait until all healed and settled before deciding for sure. Left Croydon 10.00, arrived Ashford 10.50.

Thursday. Let boss man out of doghouse.
On Friday the girls came down, and we quickly worked our way through a bottle of wine each.

Saturday slightly hung over, however Designer Outlet was begging for our presence and it would have been rude of us to disappoint. And I really needed another pair of shoes *cough*. Went to Utopia for dinner. Yum. Walked back. Or should I say, tottered back. Or perhaps staggered back would be more appropriate. Whatever it is you do after one bottle of champagne, an irish coffee and an unknown quantity of wine.
Woke up Sunday with no hangover at all, but with a burn on elbow which I cannot recall acquiring. Debated doing something in the sunshine, but after reviewing NCIS and Supernatural season finales, both of which required large quantities of tissues and comfort food, didn’t really get round to it.
Our reticence was not helped by the small group of shirtless young men volunteering to wash cars for a couple of quid. Ghostie got a thorough washing. Jen’s car got a thorough washing. Jill tried very hard to translocate her car from London to Ashford using willpower but it didn’t work.
Back to the joy that is work on Monday. On the plus side, new mediator had first day flying solo. She was very nervous, and needed a lot of support, but she was great. House selling lady has finally, finally sold. All gone through. Now she has to find somewhere to buy.
Remember the down lady from last week? The one with the mother and sons? Her mother died suddenly on Sunday. Obviously devastated, and proceeded to be devastated in our work kitchen.
Boss man’s mother had heart attack Sunday morning and had operation Monday in London and is doing okay. The family was due to go on hols Sunday, so rest of family has gone. Boss man proceeded to be wibbly down the phone.
The clients pretty much all behaved, which has to be a first.
Am thinking that if either Eastenders or Ricky Gervais tried to emulate our office, it would be too unbelievable.

That was the week, such as it was

Got home last Friday, from excellent holiday, and what was the first thing we did? Call our Dive Officer and see if there were any spaces going on any of the dives at the weekend. Fortunately, our Dive Officer (Andy) is a very, very nice man and was delighted that we were back, due to us being one of most reliable (not to mention ‘Ard) pairs of divers the club has, and immediately offered us two spots on Sunday afternoon.

Second on the agenda was setting up my wireless network at home, which after a very long conversation with a very nice lady at AOL works brilliantly. My lappy and I are therefore over the moon and expect a long and happy future…

Third on the agenda was emergency appointment for getting horridly painful tooth pulled. After nearly ten years of fighting, it was time for the molar to go. Once pulled, the dentist’s eye nearly popped out of his head, as the root was surprisingly long and snaggled. Root canal would have been… interesting.

Some might think my concept of priorities might be slightly skewed, but hey, it works for me.

Saturday was spent unpacking, washing and shopping. Bleargh. Also went for eye check up which was okay. Have to go see the Mad Professor in a couple of weeks though which is scary. With the world cup in the afternoon, it was kinda ironic that traffic on the way up at 3pm was very quiet, but the M25 on the way back at 4.30 was grid locked with many frustrated footie fans who had hoped to be settled in front of the box with beer and crisp, and not overheating in their cars.

Sunday we went diving. After a little trouble trying to locate a decent wreck, we eventually went to The Cement Wreck. I dived with Andy, while Chris dived with Judith. It was very pleasant, a couple of metres visibility and the highlight for me other than, of course, the cement bags (cough), were the really big fat starfish systematically munching their way through a large colony of mussels.

Monday was the dreaded return to work. Dreaded because one never knows quite what state things are in. But there was nothing to worry about, so that was alright.

Apart from the weather being horridly hot and sticky and close.

Apart from one of my ladies wandering around in shock due to her husband informing her on Saturday that he wants a divorce.

Apart another of my ladies wandering around in a snit because the selling of her house which is right on the point of exchange is in the process of being cocked up yet again.

Apart from yet another of my ladies being very down due to her mother and sons being over demanding all at once.

In a small office like ours, it proved to be a very depressing week.

Tuesday morning went to physio and true to form, my knee, which is highly temperamental, decided to be on its absolute best behaviour, exactly when I didn’t want it to be. Pah!

Sent very down lady on an impromptu day off which neither sons nor mother knew about so she could have a bit of ‘me’ time and get her head together.

Wednesday, very down lady was much happier. Weather forecast promised thunderstorm, therefore concerned that planned evening dive might not happen.

No thunderstorm materialised so went for the dive off Shakespeare Beach in Dover. It was glorious! Took 14yo ocean diver out for her first ocean dive and since she likes wildlife type things, it was fun to explore together and just about everything came out to play.

Loads of swimming crabs, some mating and some moulting and some just demonstrating their ‘ard attitude. Shy edible crabs, and skittery little spider crab. Several lobsters said hello. A couple of whelks showed us exactly why they’re known as ‘snails on steroids’ as they zipped across the sand. A plaice was having a very civilised evening supper on a shelf with a swimming crab and a lobster.

Something not as yet positively identified was hiding in cave. We think it was either a very lost scampi, or possible a baby crawfish, neither of which is very likely. Maybe it was just a mutated shrimp that was twice the size it should be, we are talking Dover harbour after all. The tom pot blennies were out in force, and we talked to one who took great delight in playing tug ‘o’ war with my glove. Little ocean diver was very taken with all the tiny sea squirts on the wall, and the fan worms who popped their fans in and put then put them back out for her.

Getting out was fun. The surge plus the steepness of the beach plus the weight of kit we have to carry equals difficult. Little ocean diver and I were last out, and with five big macho muscley type boys already on the beach, one might think that two girly types might get a little help. But oh, no. They stood and watched. (pout).

Thursday, things hit divorcing lady, which was very sad. Thunderstorm still due to materialise at any moment.

Friday morning house moving lady finally vented frustration over coffee and felt much better.

Friday lunchtime down lady vented mother/sons frustration over wine and felt much, much better.

Friday afternoon, the boss called in all happy and chirpy and made me laugh.

Thunderstorm that was still due any minute still showed no sign of actually arriving.

Friday evening Chris cooked lovely meal, we watched Princess Bride and we examined bottle of wine very carefully.

Saturday morning, still no sign of thunderstorm. Am wondering if it got the memo.