Had little lie-in until 0830, which was nice. Weather not too good, drizzle and cool. Mum, Dad and Chris posed in their subtle blue and grey Helly Hansen gear whilst I mooched around in my bright orange plastic mac I got at the quad biking place for £3.50. Orange mac not good for playing with ropes and hooks cuz drawstring kept getting tangled up, which is only mildly amusing when trying to moor in a bank full of stinging nettles.

All banned to the stern whilst Mum cleaned through. Chris and I both steered without hitting anything. Apart from what sounded like a shopping trolley sunk in the middle of the canal, which couldn’t be avoided since I couldn’t even see it.

Informed by Galley Captain that there was no more coffee on board. Uncertain at this point if self can cope with this turn of events.

There was a very dinky little day boat with four people in which looked like it belonged in someone’s bathtub that was ever so nervous. It was oncoming to us and so nervous it kept itself half a mile away from the bridge we were going through and wobbled right on the shore in its effort to keep out of our way, and as we passed it, it tippy toed down the canal and peeked its nose around the bridge and around the corner and when it was quite certain nothing else was coming, it closed its eyes, took a deep breath and pootled through the bridge.

Got to first two locks of the day. Debatably gazumped at first lock by British Waterways barge. In terms of water usage definitely gazumped but kinda hard to argue the point when Hawksmoor is still at the far end of the canal with a couple of obstacles to negotiate. On the funny side, they hadn’t got the right windlass for one of the paddles so they had a man trying to raise a sticky oily lump of metal with a windlass that didn’t work properly.

From a time point of view, debatably gazumped at second lock. In terms of water usage and one-up/one-down procedure and etiquette, definitely gazumped. Mostly due to one silly woman who appeared to be under the misconception (rectified by Mum) that the seven boats who had been queuing at the top all got to go down both locks before the three at the bottom came up. Mum was not a happy bunny.

Moored up for a lovely lunch.

Informed by Galley Captain that there is no more ham left on board, only cheese. Situation has therefore become dire as I shall be forced to subsist on bread and water. Despite certain persons assertions to the contrary, I. Am. Not. A. Duck.

Dropped mother off at a bridge to search out coffee.

Reversed back to find mooring, negotiating moored boats, boat coming the other way, and upsetting gypsy on the end, contemplated mooring, but by the time we got there, Mum materialised by bridge with coffee in hand.

Encountered flight of eleven locks with an interesting array of people.

A Canaltime boat was operating the locks from a handbook. Unfortunately, they were applying uphill boat-in lock procedures to both downhill locks and no-boat-in locks. Trust me on this, when I say each has a very different order of things. It was entertaining.

The boat behind us had a surplus of crew and very kindly sent one of their boys forward to assist to help speed things up; we had a full compliment, but the boat ahead was working with only one ground crew, so we suggested he help them, and he cheerfully did so. In the meantime, it dawned on his crew that they’d sent him off with a windlass. They only had two windlasses and were therefore not much faster than the boat with a sole ground crew.

At one lock, I passed the overflow pond and was made to jump a couple of feet by a lady duck that quacked and flew into the pond. These ponds have vertical walls of around three or four feet above the water line and cannot therefore be climbed out of without assistance. During a spare few moments, I saw the duck come back out onto the side and shake herself off so I decided to go and say hello. She opened her beak at me, and I‘m still not certain whether she was saying ‘go away’ or ‘help’, but she was not moving from her spot. Usually ducks shy away if you get too close. I happened to look in the pond and a single fluffy chick was in there paddling around happily and eating weed. Understandably Mum duck wasn’t happy about this, but without a long handled net there was not much to be done. So I fed them both some bread, which kept both of them happy for a while anyway.

Chris was opening a top gate when the sluices for the bottom gate of the next lock opened and the resulting tsunami slapped him on his rear. Ouch.

Dad has a thing about the large backsides boating ladies seem to have, and it was with heroic restraint that he managed to withhold comments on the lady from the boat behind who really did have an enormous rear until we were at least a few feet out of the lock.

Moored a little earlier than planned, but it was a guaranteed mooring, especially when the very kind lady and gentleman on the boat in front moved theirs a few feet.

Two swans came by to visit and I sat on the side of the bow feeding them bread. They were very well behaved, (apart from the larger one attempting every now and then to stick his beak into my bread bag) and quite happily took bread from my fingers, only attempting to take my fingers a couple of times. No hissing or tantrums going on as swans are wont to do.

Mum cooked dinner on board. Yum. Dad drank my wine when I wasn’t looking. Quack.