Had crown put on tooth and given truckload of antibiotics. Antibiotics only to be used if in pain, and not to be used in conjunction with alcohol. However alcohol is acceptable in lieu of antibiotics. Guess which option I’m taking.

We battled M20/25/1 and got to Stockton marina a little before 2pm to find parentals already preparing Hawksmoor for take off. Getting extremely long narrow boat out around very small parking area looked impossible, and I would have volunteered to assist, however I left my super duper translocation device at home. So I helped Mum unpack while Dad and Chris delicately manoeuvred her out of the marina without hitting anything.

Having brought the entire contents of my house up, I was quite impressed that we managed to fit it all in. Three locks materialised and Chris and I worked them while Mum made lunch and Dad steered. We went up with another boat and made a jolly good team thank you very much. Rewarded ourselves with beer.

Black tea drinkers unite! Mum forgot the milk.

Saw Moorhens fighting/courting (is there a difference?), swans and cygnets, ducks and ducklings, swallows sitting in a bush, a couple of rabbits and a dead fish.

Followed a bunch of girlies out for a weekend in a hire narrow boat with an extremely interesting way of driving it. They would not have been out of place on a bumper car grid.

Had dinner, spaghetti and champagne followed by Really Rich Choccy Cake and Cream with Pressies. For Me, cuz it was my birthday. Yum.

Fed chicken to ducks before dinner. Who’d’a thunk they’d like it? Went for short walk up and down bank followed by same ducks. Felt slightly stalked. Fed same ducks cheese after dinner. Now feeling very afraid they’re going to turn up for breakfast with fangs and ‘quackers’.

Dad waited until he’d consumed alcohol before clearing out the propeller, and was thus incredibly proud of the polythene bag he fished up.

Slightly concerned that we are moored next to young offenders’ institute. Resolved tensions resulting from such concerns with paper cannonball fight. It’s my birthday, therefore I won.