New job, new era

Okay, for those of you living on a planet not in our solar system, it may come us news that I started a new job this week. Not only a new job, but also a new career. Scary stuff.

So, first week. Was fun.

Got email telling me to turn up at 10.30. Yay, like that idea muchly. Now, outside the rush hour, home to new work is an hour, pretty much on the nose. Inside the rush hour I had this idea that at least doubling that would be a fair estimated as there is to contend with, lemme see;

Getting out of Ashford (mostly okay)

M20 at Maidstone (slow but okay)

M26/25 junction (slow)

Clackett Lane (slow to standstill)

Purley Cross (guaranteed queuing time of one hour)

So, I thought I’d leave home at 8am.
Got there 9.30, surprising everyone, including myself. Chatted with Receptionist, Director and IT boy until boss came in at 10.30. looked around the place and met everyone.

Boss was in receipt of new computer. I was in receipt of Very Old computer, an interim machine until Old computer was ready for me, an interim machine until New machine is authorised and purchased. Went for lunch with boss whilst both new and Very Old computers were being persuaded to work.

Nice local pub with decent lunch menu.

Came back to find new computer throwing tantrums and Very Old computer failing to get out of bed.

Managed a little bit of computer time to play around and got first assignment issued to keep me occupied Tuesday when boss was out. Got home in one hour ten.

Decided to leave home at 7.30 and see what time that got me in. Arrived 10.00. Hmmm. Did assignment and struggled with writing first assignment due to uncontrollable urge to write comedy which was fuelled by Very Old computers unwillingness to wake up and do anything. IT boy assures me that Old machine is almost ready and that its much better. Got home in one hour forty five.

Weds was one hour thirty in, and two hours home due to M25 standstill. Arrived to find Old machine installed. Excellent. Much more spry than Very Old machine. Lots of quirks and foibles but am able to type more than three words a minute on it. Serioused up Tuesdays assignment and started sub-editing other peoples stuff. And playing with pictures. Am sure that at some point I will learn how to make a picture of a loo seat look interesting.

Am learning about all sorts of things that I am deciding that I want in my house. Whilst sitting in the outside lane of the M25 going nowhere, compiled potential shopping list of things I’d like done to my house. After shopping list had grown to the length of a large redwood, gave up. Baby car’s cabi heating element also gave up.

Thurs was two hours in. Nice colleague volunteered to show mw short way to M23/25 junction on way home. Played with new machine, learned about forklifts, u-bends and health and safety issues. Received second assignment to play with on Friday when boss not in. Followed colleague down to M25 via every tiny little humped road and leafy suburb in south London, only to run into standstill on M25. However, the back roads were so quick, that despite standstill at Maidstone due to very nasty accident and stopping for petrol, I was still home in one hour thirty. Replicating route? Even using sat nav, multimap and ordnance survey? Don’t think so.

On Friday, had dive club dinner, so left at 7.05 with the idea of getting in for nine so that I could leave at five. Arrived 08.15. Hmmm. Meant I could leave at 4.15, but took two hours to get to Chris. *snerk!*

Now I have benchmarks for timing, next few weeks will be spent exploring short cuts.

Dive club meal was excellent at the George Vaults in Rochester,an event Chris organised. Zippy got the Albatross (booby) award (sighs of relief from both Chris and myself who were also contenders!). In classic Christmas party tradition, the sprouts bounced, but there was no food fight this year.

Christmas is approaching way too fast this year, I’m not at all prepared and still awaiting presents arrival. And, oh sh*t, I should probably do something about xmas cards. But at least my tree is up.

Short n sweet

Sebaceous cyst was successfully removed. Whilst cutting me open, Doc explained how he would be attempting to remove it in one piece as that would be much cleaner and vastly reduce any chance of another. His long winded explanation f this was curtailed with the exclamation, ‘Ooh, it popped!’ Hum. Only slightly worrying. Ended up with two stitches, the ends of which poked up giving me two tiny blue Marvin the Martian style antennae.

On Sunday, I volunteered to marshal a training dive at Leybourne. This was a tactical error. I should have been diving. I would have been a lot drier. The lake was extremely choppy, with waves reaching tsunami proportion heights of six inches, the storm was enough that I had to sit on the thermos flask to stop it blowing away, and the rain was, uh. Very wet.

Had stitches removed. Lack of antennae resulted in loss of signals from outer space.

Received email from new job to ask me to please not turn up too much before 10.30 on Monday. Fab. Like this job already!

Friday was my last day divorcing people. Not that I actually did a lot of that on Friday. Mostly I spent time getting rid of all my pictures from my computer, and deleting all the saved games of spider solitaire.

Until I got surprised by my ladies, with a bottle of pink champagne and Belgian chocolates. *beam*

After consuming those, we left work early. I had cunningly planned the company xmas party for Friday also. Isn’t coincidence a wonderful thing? So, went home to tart up and trotted off to The Old Oast. We were loud. And maybe a bit drunk. Or a lot drunk. Charles said some lovely things. And I got a bunch of flowers (white lilies and roses; my favourite!), a blue planet DVD box set and two gorgeous diving coffee table books.

Slept through hangover.

Cleaned house and put up decorations. Slightly concerned by sleepy wasp that had curled up for his winter sleep in the tinsel. Finished off with the blandest Indian Takeaway I have ever had.

Hum. So that’s that. End of an era, start of a new.