More stuff!

When I find out whose idea it was to get up at 4.30am on a Sunday, I shall do something very nasty to them. And I deny that it was my idea, I don’t care what anyone says. Eastbourne was there when we arrived, and still there when we left. At 0600 there were only divers in the Asda car park that we used to park and change in. At lunchtime, however it was full of people getting a right eyeful of divers changing back into civvies.

Did I mention I was the only girlie? Anyway, mostly got around that by hijacking the men’s loo.

Chris has thoroughly exaggerated his description of the first dive; the visibility was not two metres, it was two inches. Honest. And the dogfish on the second dive were very lovely and I had a serious internal debate as to whether I could get away with that old trick of ‘he followed me home, can I keep him? Decided that my bathtub probably wasn’t big enough. After stopping for dinner on the way, we hot home about 4 and were quite ready to crash right then, but bravely struggled all the way to 9pm in order to try and get back on track for Monday.

Monday evening our lifesaver course was due to start at Chatham at 1930. This is 1930 *sharp*according to Jude, the course leader. In fact, her email was quite insistent that the course will be starting 1930 *promptly* and a dim view would be taken of anyone not sitting there ready, bright eyed and bushy tailed at 1930.
So my attempt at ensuring promptness went something like this:
1725 – Alarm goes off at work to remind me to leave at 1730 sharp.
1728 – Receive phone call from Very Important Client.

1730 – Staff wave goodbye.

1748 – Put phone down to Very Important Client.

1749 – With coat half hanging off, run up Bank Street to car park.

1750 – Run back to office to lock up.

1752 – Run back up Bank Street to car park, whilst trying to untangle shoulder bag..
1753 – Shoulder bag tips entire contents over Bank Street.

1757 – Arrive at car park.

1758 – Congratulate self on wisdom of bringing car complete with cylinders in boot to work in order to make quick getaway.

1759 – Emergency stop part way down the exit ramp of car park due to unexpected queue.

1803 – Wish self had made the twenty-minute walk to work instead.

1810 – Arrive home, feed cats, feed fish, water plants and change clothes.

1820 – Fall over cat and nearly down stairs.

1825 – Jump in car, drive up road.

1826 – Drive back down road, jump out of car, lock house.

1828 – Jump in car, drive up road and on way to Rochester.

1905 – Arrive Chris’ flat to find no car parking spaces. In a moment of pique, park in most inconvenient place possible.

1915 – Drag Chris out to car as panicking about car left in slightly awkward place (on corner blocking garages) slightly away from the curb (about three feet).

1917 - Half way down road Chris curses because he left so fast he forgot half of what he needed.

1925 - Slide car elegantly into car park space outside club.

1926 – Casually lean on bar with drinks, patting self on back for promptness.

1927 – Casually observe that we’re the only people there.

1936 – A couple of other lifesaver students wander in.

1940 – Jude and other instructors wander in.

2000 – Self has made serious inroads in creating lifelike voodoo style doll of Jude.

2015 – Course starts.

2230 – Course finishes, and Chris has to hold onto his seat as self makes rapid trip home to Ashford, slowing down only to boot him out of car at his flat.

2250 – Pass police car sneakily hidden in front of lorry in slow lane where I couldn’t see it.

2255 – In mutually courteous fashion slowly creep over very narrow humpback bridge to discover oncoming headlights belong to another police car who twinks his blues in thanks (I think...). Belatedly remember that one of my taillights is out and hotfoot it the rest of the way home before anyone else notices.

2300 – In bed snoring.

Tuesday was hard to get up to. Finished work at four with a view to catching a train at 5. This idea worked really well right up to the point where I picked my post up and found an Interlink card that told me I had a parcel. In handwriting to rivals my doctors, it said that my parcel was at ‘The Brick Hole Innn.’ Huh? I have NO idea what that’s about, and no matter how I squinted our held the card up to the light or upside down, I could not make any more sense than that.

Knowing Interlink of old, however, it could be anywhere. So I looked around the front garden, checked with the neighbours and checked I hadn’t run over it. I had no idea what size it was, but guessed it might be dvd or book sized since I have a coupe of mail orders outstanding. Having found nothing anywhere obvious, I checked the back garden, crossing fingers that it hadn’t been just chucked over the fence. Can you imagine a DVD landing in my very full, very wet water barrel pond?

Sure enough, large box had been chucked over fence, missed the pond and landed square in a large pile of cat poo upside down. I know it was upside down because the box had big arrows pointing to the right way up and clear print that said ‘This way up, fragile and handle with care.’ Concluded that card had actually said ‘The Back GaR Den’.

Fortunately the packers clearly know what their couriers are like and had secured the enclosed flowers in such a manner that Chelsea could have played a full game with it as the football and the flowers wouldn’t have noticed. Thank you very much Annelies!!! They are gorgeous. Tulips, along with lilies and sunflowers are my faves.
After putting them in a vase, realised that it was now 1640 and I still had to get train ticket. Ran all the way to station, skidded up to window, got ticket, ran all the way back down to platform 2, and took steps three at a time just in the nick of time to see back end of train disappearing up track. Next train 1717, so not the end of the world. Met Chris at Charing X and went to Wembley to see War of the Worlds.

Met Gary Osbourne, and although not impressed with pink sunglasses, his wife was very nice, and Chris was very impressed, but then again Chris knew who he was. I was impressed Weds when I Googled him and found that he co-wrote a lot of Elton John’s songs from 1975 – 1985 or thereabouts. War of the Worlds itself was very good. Justin Heyward was incredibly elegant in his cream period outfit and sang beautifully. Russell Watson was nice to look at. The tripod was very impressive, and the whole set up excellent. A very enjoyable evening. Got home at 0030.

Wednesday was really, really hard to get up to. Today is better